087 The Exquisiteness of Ordinary Moments with Brittany Policastro
Beloveds! We are joined this week again by the incredible Brittany Policastro. Brittany calls in the beauty and potent healing that can be found in ordinary moments. She and Sophia can often be found performing elaborate rituals and those will always have their vital role in healing this world, but there is just as much rich energy in washing dishes when that is the aligned move. These two talk about polyamory and the freedoms it provides as well as the mental reframing that many of us need to do when entering into such spacious agreements. This episode has the ease of two old friends catching up, because that's what it is. But when those two old friends are such incredible healing powerhouses, we all benefit from listening in.
This conversation is raw and ripe with personal sharing. Do you know that "breakup" "heartache" Sophia keeps making reference to without talking about? She finds space and support to share the dish on it in this episode.
Get cozy, or pumped, or anything in between, maybe you'll find the exquisite ordinary in your own life as you listen to this sweet episode!
We explore the various definitions of pleasure and how it can help people to release themselves from the conditioning, discomfort, and trauma holding them trapped in ineffective habits that are negatively affecting their relationships, orgasms, pleasure experience, and ability to succeed. We review various ways to heal and learn more about their body and their orgasmic ability.
FULL TRANSCRIPT PROVIDED BELOW
Here’s a little glimpse/ time stamp synopsis:
3:40 - Brittany Policastro was welcomed to the show and Sophia explained how and where they met over 10 years ago.
12:00 - Talked about being silent is a bigger breakthrough.
15:30 - Giving up the paradigm of hierarchy is being "Spiritual" and validity of different paths of healing.
19:30 - Sophia and Brittany discussed cleaning vs straightening in the material world and spiritual world.
25:52 - Exploring the concept of pleasure as a medicine.
29:47 - Understanding and expanding pleasure consciousness.
34:36 - How does trauma significantly impact our nervous system?
43:56 - Sophia opened up her personal story of "breakup" trauma
1:21:00 - Sophia thanked Brittany for joining the show and lets listeners know where they can reach out to her.
Learn more about Devi Ward:
About the guest:
Brittany has been promoting transformation for the past 17 years, demonstrating to others that living a life authentically will look a lot different from what society expects of us. In addition to being polyamorous, kink positive, bisexual, and child free by choice, she is a sexual liberation and relationship coach, a sexologist, a practitioner of authentic Tantra, a writer and a yoga teacher.
Brittany has led thousands of people over the past 16 years in relating differently, releasing the stories that suffocate them, healing the wounds and stigmas that label them, and living an orgasmic genuine life in every way possible. She does this first and foremost for herself, her chosen life partner, and everyone else with whom she walks, and she guides people through their transformation with bravery, confidence, and kindness.
You can find Brittany on instagram @Sexually_Liberated or on her website BrittanyPolicastro.com
For more resources for finding calm in these stressful times and to never miss another live recording you can follow Sophia on Facebook by searching Sophia Wise One or on Instagram @Sophia Wise One
“I am Sophia Wise One: Daughter of the Wind. I am calling you to rise up, rise up, rise up. Rise up and take your place.”
This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
FULL TRANSCRIPTT
Samantha Rise 00:01
I'm Samantha Rise, and welcome to Vagina Talks. Where we speak about to from Vaginas. This is a show of alchemy, where we turn poison into medicine, disconnection into wisdom and isolated wounds into communal peacemaking. Here's your host, Sophia Wise One.
Vagina Talks Theme Song by Sophia Wise oe 00:20
You already know everything I could teach you. You already know everything I could say. We are here to remind you what you already, already, already know.
Sophia Wise One 00:34
I just want to take a minute to acknowledge that Vagina Talks understands that gender is fluid and dynamic and goes way beyond the binary of either woman or man, she or him. And that, in fact, it's a living and evolving thing that's actually personal, person to person. And that our bodies, even our understanding, or the ways that we experience them can vary. It's important for me that that's something that has space here on Vagina Talks. And at the same time, I also am carrying this understanding that woman hood and the experience of the feminine and all of the female, in the splitting of that binary, has been injured has been hurt, has been dismantled. And so I'm looking to have a space where the feminine and the female and the female body is reclaimed and respected and lifted and inspected and known, as well as a space that goes beyond the binary. And that acknowledges that these are limited constructs, mostly put upon us, and that we're in the process of evolving into something more whole and more true. Just wanted to say that some of my guests will use incredibly binary language for whatever reason from the places that they come from. And I just wanted to let you know that Vagina Talks has a much wider understanding, and it's a living one. So feel free to chime in as we go along. Without further ado, today's episode. Oh, sweet loves, welcome to Vagina Talks. I'm your host in this moment, they call me Sophia Wise One and I am privileged and honored to join you wherever you may be today. If you're outside doing yard work if you are curled up in your bed, if you're driving in a car, wherever you may be. Thank you for having me as company. Glad to be here with you. I am recording this episode again from the lands of a baby world. I talked about in my last episode that both of my sisters had babies, one of them had twins, three weeks apart. So we are newborn, we we get together twice a week currently has been the rhythm so far, we get all the babies and the parents all together twice a week. And we call it baby fast. And it's baby camp. And it's the aunt and uncle mom, dad, nibbling jam band. It's what we've been doing. And it has been an incredibly transformative time. For me, the soul medicine of infants of newborns is profound. And I am changing rapidly. And I am in a deep place of curiosity. And I think, I think that shows where I am. And so I just want to kind of we have a guest with us today that I'm just like, so mushy about having on today. So I want to bring her in, we're just going to kind of stay in this real, real space together, I am going to give her a little bit of a touting introduction. give some credit where credit's due. Before I give you some of the official breakdown, Brittany and I met over well over 10 years ago now at Studio 34 an incredible community yoga arts healing space in West Philadelphia and we have watched each other grow and transform. We met as powerful teachers, powerful practitioners over a decade ago. I'm like, it's almost 15 years I think, and and we've watched each other really transform and Brittany has just confronted conditioning after conditioning to expand into just a vibrant, powerful leader in what it is to claim your life as a sovereign being. And so I am always inspired and delighted the love runs deep. I'm excited to bring her on today and share her. She's been on this show before you can go back and it was a great show to go check it out that way. We'll throw the link out in the show notes. You can see some of the journeys that we've taken. But her, her most recent recent revelation present being state is here with us today. So a little bit about her work. Brittany has been facilitating transformation for the past 17 years, while showing others that living your life authentically can often look way different than society expects of us. In addition to being polyamorous, kink positive, bisexual and child free by choice, she is a sexual liberation and relationship coach, a sexologist, a practitioner of authentic Tantra, a writer and a yoga teacher. Over the past 16 years, Brittany has guided thousands of people into relating differently, releasing the stories that stifle them, heal the wounds and stigmas that define them, so that they can live in orgasmic authentic life in every possible way. She does that first and foremost with herself and with her chosen life partner and everyone else she walks with, and she leads people courageously, confidently and kindly in their transformation. Brittany, I love you. Welcome to the show.
Brittany Policastro 05:56
I love you, too. Hello, I'm so happy to be here. That was as I close my eyes and just received that, that was really beautiful. Love you what you shared about our own friendship evolution.
Sophia Wise One 06:09
Yeah, it's beautiful. It's so beautiful, too, because I have friends who you have been their yoga teacher. And so there's, these ways it's like so sweet. You know, like I have these memories of sitting with some of my friends. And, and they're talking in their processing. And they're like, you know, and Brittany says, and Brittany says, you know, like, I'm sitting there. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, you know, there's like, you know, like, "She's my teacher." And I'm like, yeah, I know, you know, she's a great teacher.
Brittany Policastro 06:37
There's so many people that are like, "I have you in my head, like I hear your voice in my head and you say this." like, "Wow! Cool!"
Sophia Wise One 06:44
Powerful, right?
Brittany Policastro 06:45
Also, listen for your voice, too. Please.
Sophia Wise One 06:49
Always. That's literally what your voice is. Literally, what you're saying in their head is like, "I'm here to remind you to listen over here."
Brittany Policastro 06:56
But this is you're voice.
Sophia Wise One 06:57
It's busy, busy in there. It's busy in there. I'll say a little bit about that. That's kind of what I'll talk about right now for me in this moment. I am. So I'm in this baby land. And one of the things that so like real, like real, real, real quick and dirty. Because I haven't talked about it a lot on the show. We'll see how much we get into it today. But it's like that stuff has been touching me just looking at the subject of just like I was so profoundly transformative, really, in love for a year. And then I was just so demolished for a year in our, in our space and distancing. And our renegotiation and our healing and, and so I'm just kind of coming out of that year and coming into this new, new understanding. And so I had a little bit of that moment of just like, I mean, one of those tender places, you know, when people are talking about like, ecstatic life and satisfying relating, and I'm like, "Oh, it's tender. It's tender. It's tender. Like.
Brittany Policastro 07:55
Sure.
Sophia Wise One 07:56
I know it's real. I know it's real and like I don't want to talk about it. That's something else. Don't tell me your happy stories. And I don't, I, that comes and goes and I'm feeling way kind of softer about it. But it's been so interesting, because in this time preparing to come for the babies, I was really meditating on, like, what do I focus on like, because I offered my both families like four to six weeks, like basically like a month or two months, and I will be it, will be close to two months for both of them that I lived in their houses, gave them hands on help with pregnancy and children. And so I was meditating and saying what, like, "What is, what do I, how do i tend my heart, my healing, my womb, my vulva, my vagina, my, my sexuality, my heart, my heart?" I mean, my heart just got, I just rocked bottomed like hard last year. And it was incredibly important. It was so important. But it's hard. And, and what do I focus on, and the message that I got over and over again, was like focus on the babes. Like, just focus, be present with the babies. And, and so I have, and I've really taken that as my medicine, my ceremony has been to be in deep presence. And so I have not talking about the voices in our heads. I have very intentionally not been engaging in long exploration of those voices. It's been a lot of like acknowledging and then refocusing, and having moments like washing bottles, five in the morning at the sink, and just being like and just having a wave of grief come over, you know, and just being like, okay, and taking three minutes to just like let the tears pour down my face and then take a deep breath and then turn around and like pick up this baby and give it my full focus and just be like, this is it, you know, and just this morning, I was holding one of my niblings, and I was looking at them. And I was like, "Oh my gosh." I just had this moment of just being like bless you, anyone who listens to the show this love that I have an episode with them, Aaron of Many Names Episode 49 and a half of Vagina Talks. And I said, you know, I'm just so grateful for you. And like the journey, the way that Aaron and I listened to the guidance and the, you know, we basically triggered each other to all get out and then looked at each other and said, I need space. And we got those messages in different ways. But that was kind of in short, what happened. And so I was looking at her and I was like, "Oh, my God, thank God, we listened, like, thank God, we listened." Because if we hadn't listened, there would have been all the same lessons, but it would have been so much more difficult to do it, with both of us watching the year that both of us went through the soul medicine. That, that we've walked through just being like, "Oh, my God, thank God, I had so much space because I was prepared to be with you." And I don't know if I would be with you now, if I hadn't listened to myself in the past, like, these deep, grateful moments to my past self. So that's kind of like a little all over the place. But just like just thinking about the voices in our heads and acknowledging and making space, but also choosing the refocus and the trusting and, and it's been powerful, it's been really powerful. The babies are five weeks and eight weeks currently. So it's been two months of newborn heart healing magic, and they just destroy me and all that, all that heart guarding has just been like being pulled off, you know, I just can't, I, you know, and it's not like I was trying to keep it in the first place diligently, you know, you know, but just power of powerfully pulling off those shields and just meeting myself. So it's a little bit where I'm at.
Brittany Policastro 12:00
Yeah, and so there's a couple of things that stuck out for me with that. One is just this idea of the exquisiteness of ordinary moments, like washing bottles, or, you know, just being present with a child. You know, I had a therapy session a couple weeks ago, where I had done a two, like an hour and a half time masturbation session, which is, you know, very deep medicine and, and then I go to therapy afterwards, virtually right now, because it's like I'm super tapped in, and it can be, it's just great. And so, there I may have, it was probably about 20 minutes, where I just sat with my therapist, I like didn't say anything, and it was amazing. And I've never been able to do that. Like I'm always like, "Okay. What am I gonna get out of this? I need to get my money's worth. What am I going to talk about? When I'm in the process, what am I going to heal, like let's get this stuff going." And there was this really powerful moment of me, not needing to do any of that, and not needing to be with all those voices and just sitting, present. And with this other being who, you know, hold space for me and has been for years. And it was such a breakthrough. It was such a breakthrough. And all we did was sit there. So all we did, and it was a, can I carry it? Can I say curse words?
Sophia Wise One 13:31
Yeah.
Brittany Policastro 13:32
And it was a fucking break. I needed to say it, it felt like it needed to come up. It was and then the week after I had like, an even bigger breakthrough, which was different, you know, much different flavor. But like, who knows if I would have been able to have second breakthrough without the first breakthrough of space and presence.
Sophia Wise One 13:53
Yeah, cool.
Brittany Policastro 13:56
Yeah.
Sophia Wise One 13:58
I feel that it's like, yeah, it's really moving in me really feel that. The sequence of medicine like that, I think so, and that's why trusting, like, radical trust in the healing process where it's like, I'm empty and have no thoughts. It's like lean in, right? It's like I'm spilling over with a million thoughts like lean in, like, I've feel so quote, unquote, distracted and all I want to do is like, take care of material things. And it's like, take care of things like that to.
Brittany Policastro 14:25
Do it.
Sophia Wise One 14:25
Do it! They're all part of what like living isn't how we move our energy or move our, our, our even our self perspective, like how the needle of how we experience ourselves or perceive ourselves shifts when we take care of the mundane in our life or sit in silence in a way that we never have, or you know, orgasm 10 times for the first time ever, like in sequence, right? Like we become it, we orient differently to our own self when we, when we do any of these things. And so it's like, that reorientation that, then creates the opportunity for whatever's coming next.
Brittany Policastro 15:05
Yes, absolutely. And, you know, I think as healers and the end seekers and people who you know, are on this, this, quote, unquote, when I say quote, unquote, because, you know, it's, it's kind of a narrative,
